So my life for the last week has been rather shitty yet fun. Now I'm 19 and I only have 2 more years left for fun and all but I've also been In a reallly reallllllly bad mood lately. I have done some drumming which has been awesome. Tonight I reread some letters from someone I kinda dated like a LONG ass time ago and i read this: "you're a freakin' special person to me and i don't know what i'd do w/ out you. no joke. even though you've been a perverted asshole @ times i still love everything about you" and i was like wow sometimes some people can be nice like that. I'm gonna try to make my life better, save some money, move out, drum and try to not think about how much I hate myself at the moment, shit.
So tomorrow I have to get up at like 5 to drive my mother to the airport. Last couple days have been pretty hard, I've been dealing with the whole ADD thing more and it hasnt been good. It makes me feel like a bad person and other people too. I'm not really for any kind of commitment right now, I barely feed my fish. And I see him every morning, my little doomed rex morgan little 28 cent fish. Change is hard for me, I need to really get over myself, for real. This Guy wrote something really cool that kinda explains what it is like to have ADD. "Some people say the so-called syndrome doesn't even exist, but believe me, it does. Many metaphors come to mind to describe it. It's like driving in the rain with bad windshield wipers. Everything is smudged and blurred and you're speeding along, and it's reeeeally frustrating not being able to see very well. Or, it's like listening to a radio station with a lot of static and you have to strain to hear what's going on. Or, it's like trying to build a house of cards in a dust storm. You have to build a structure to protect yourself from the wind before you can even start on the cards." I've also for some reason been having a hard time with the fact the most people cheat on people, that makes me sound nice, when In reality if someone hurt me enough i would cheat, but then again I really don't get it. I also don't get masturbation so maybe I'm just crazy or I sound ultra catholic. Come to think about, All those Catholic views I have always ruin my life. Anyways, I need out of this town and the people in it, my life here is over honestly...I love some people here but being here is becoming rather unhealthy for me and the thought of just taking off and not telling anyone really makes me happy yet ultra sad. This isn't very fair to some, but i have a feeling I share this emotion about leaving. My baby, Lunacy is the only thing holding me back, not just playing drums but the band members too, particularly the singer, what a keeper, something no one can Keep. I'm hoping that in the next couple weeks I will be able to control myself and that includes my spending.
so today i got up early to drive sam home for mothers day and go out with my mama, that was 9:10, it's now 10:30 and nothing has happend. I saved 123 dollars from the last to weekends in tips for tattoos but I need to get the tattoo tomorrow but then i have a show on wednesday so i have no idea if this is going to work out with getting the tattoo and all, shit. I'm hungry i want my mothers day brunch now, wtf. I got that new Nekromantix cd, I'm not impressed so far.
So friday for the first time in a long ass time I didn't work. So Lunacy (Saxon, me alex and sam) plus alex's girlfriend went bowling. Well before bowling me and Lauren went to goodwill and i got a hat and a shirt. Bowling was fun. Saxon had never ever been bowling before which i found odd, isn't there bowling in England? He wants to go bowling once a month as a band, thats how much he liked it. After Bowling I'm not really sure what happend, I just remember taking sam home and me just going home and just sitting there. Saturday I worked all day and after work I picked Sam up at U of O. We like got some ice cream and sweet rice at Ring of fire. Sunday was SOO nice. I need summer back. We had band practice.
Pre bowling Alex's balls? Band without me Teren's newst Tattoo Not sure why Sam got on Saxon's shoulders in the first place hey it's my ass crack! Alex won
TUES JAN 23RD - 6:00 pm TILL 10PM $5 ALL AGES @ HEADQUARTERS 3915 E14TH AVE EUGENE OR 97403 LEFT ALONE SKA PUNK ON HELLCAT RECORDS THE HOLLOW POINTS PUNK ROCK FROM SEATTLE UGLY LITTER GLENWOODS BEST PUNK BAND LUCKY SEVENS SKA PUNK FROM ASTORIA OREGON LUNACY FIRST SHOW
Bring extra money for records to help the touring bands, plus give money to Ryan as Nazis broke his window on his van and Ugly Litter are going on tour and could use all the money they can get. Support the people who help the Punk scene in this town. please repost
so I'm in San Diego which is kinda boring, I'm just stilling around. BUT I got Os Catalepticos - One more Tattoo cd and Nekromantix's first "hellbound"......so yeah 2 great psychobilly cds at one time, fuck yeah plus i got a demented are go patch for me and one for sam plus a plasmatics one for sam. anyways not like anyone is gonna read this but i guess i really am in a band now, i mean we've had practices and all but it never really realized it's self in my head yeah so ummm myspace.com/lunacypunk
pretty bad recordings on there but they are from like our 2nd practice. end.
So I'm leaving today for 2 weeks. All i wanna do is have a cuddle puddle with fine ladys right now but instead i have to pack and shit. San Diego will be warm and shit but my mother is gonna be around me way too much and being down there isn't a big deal anymore since i have cable here too now and tv sucks...so i have nothing to do....nothing. I'm gonna miss all my things/privacy and not having to be with my annoying family. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah so I got my hair cut and it's short, NOT really short but short enough where i cant pull it back also i'm in a band now which reminds me of how ariel wanted to me tambarine girl in a band which makes me sad cuz i miss ariel's glory of the past. shitttttt
so this weekend was odd. Friday work was wierd and i was anxoius the whole time. I picked Sam after work, we went to get cigs, mcdonalds and saw Teren. Basicly it was rare these days since me and her have been randomly apart. I really love her and she told me that I've been hurting her feelings and that we have been fighting too much so thats why we haven't been hanging out lately. It was sad for me, then we went to my house and I feel asleep randomly...I think she just watched 28days later. Saturday: Sam woke me up and tryed to put the alarm right next to my ear to wake me up but i woke up a minute before it rang (thank god) .We went to Kellyns and got free food cuz her dorm food rocks, i got my ipod back too. Sam told me she only wanted to hang out with plans now and no longer just all the time. I hate plans, i don't understand how thats gonna work out cuz someone else will just make plans before me and i will never get to see her, I'm too good for plans, come on sam. It was all ok then i went to work. Work sucked, i got off at 12:38 Sunday I woke up tired, Lizzy texted me about a going away party for Sarah, 2-5. Then sam called me, Ummm i guess we had made plans or something, see another reason plans suck, i cant remember them. We went to Cafe Yumm, then to house of records. Then to my house, she felt sick and tired ,got into my bed and i wraped the blanket around her which was puffy and white making her look like a giant magget. I went on the computer then went to my room to say something to her only to find her asleep, she was ultra tired so i let her sleep. i took her home when she woke up. Then i went to lizzys, i helped her clean after the party then went to Terens, I helped him clean too...then went home and carved punkins wit my mom, now i wanna sleep.
hahahahahaha i just realized how i can't remember how long it's been since i've had a real kiss and i realized that all i talk about on livejournal is how i never get laid. haha i just remembered how i have a picture of lauren's tittys that i'm gonna post now on christinas page. anyways though.....i have my house to myself until saturday, isn't that reason to get laid? ummm i might have 2 baths set up coming this week but whatever dude what ever happend to me being pimp. saturday night was sams birthday and she went to flogging molly (the third time) and i was gonna surprise her and show up but the show sold out...LAME, so instead i went bowling with LON, Ariel, and the buddies they brought.....it was fun and i actually won, which never happends usually cuz i like to be cocky and ruin my chance of winning. ariel took dank pics she still hasn't posted. I'm not sure where i got this but i wish i could do art like it...maybe i should start paining again, maybe this is my new inspjkdsfhjdhjdfstion cant spell. Yesterday teren got a 800 octane tattoo, it's pimp. me sam and amira came with him and i backed out of getting a tattoo with him BUT i'm getting this bat next month or in 2 weeks or whatever well this post is way too long cuz i'm bored cuz i skipped french....nowhere to stay tonight someone call me...... or whatever.
wow today i realized how much i miss my cat when this one cat was all cuddles on me or maybe i just need to hook up with someone, holy shit it's been like ehhh a while since i've been with someone.....like maybe a month...how lame. well anyways everyone got a freaking schedual for school but Gabriela, maybe it's another sign that i need to drop out. justin did acid....ahh jealous but i got pain killers so whatever. P.s. People need to go to le sous-sol show sunday, it's cheap and fun so why not go?
hey also drink sanpellegrino limonata, by the way i;m going to San Francisco on monday with like 300 dollars, wonder how long it will last when my favorite italian pastery shop across the bay..blah blah blha
my weekend was cool/odd, i saw arusha which was awsome since i hadn't seen her in almost 2 years and i made money and such, slept at bradens...it was cool. today i played croquet with Lauren Ariel joe and arusha. p.s. joe dumped bethany and he seems really happy now and i'm happy for him. oh and heres this thing i stole from christina
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense. You'll be surprised though.
How am I feeling today? tarpit - Dinosaur Jr
Will I get far in life? The Process - Lower Class Brats
How do my friends see me? Swordfish - the dead milkmen
Where/When will I get married? Cry Babies (Oh No) - ludacris
What is my best friend's theme song? Crawl Straight Home - horrorpops
What is the story of my life? Inner City Swing - Royal Crown Revue
What was high school like? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - The Pogues
How can I get ahead in life? Simply Havin' - de la soul
What is the best thing about me? Artifical Sweetener - no doubt
What was today like? strange - bulit to spill
What is in store for this weekend? nothing better - the postal service
What song describes my parents? no, not now - hot hot heat
How is my life going? Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - nancy sinatra
What song will they play at my funeral? When Night Comes Down - tiger army
How does the world see me? Suspension Without Suspense - no doubt
Will I have a happy life? touch - omarion (hahahahaahhah)
What do my friends really think of me? Fuck Tha Police - NWA
Do people secretly lust after me? Hang On To Yourself - David bowie
How Can i make myself happy? Luv U Better - LL Cool J (dude i could use some loving)
What should I do with my life? Top Of The Pops - the rezillos
What will my children be like? Galaxy 500 - Reverend Horton Heat
What will you name them? Dudley - yeah yeah yeahs (lol)
What will the person you marry be like? Glam Bastard - Lower Class Brats (LOL)
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Jack The Stripper - Nekromantix
Will you have a fulfilling life? Drug Train - the Cramps
How will you die? Green Shirt - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
so i'm in this "drawing class" with lame ass people, i might fail this art class by the way. well now this class consists of me and bim making fun of A. the fat teacher and B.other students that seem dumb(or fat).
i also have many lesbian meetings with caley in corners of the room or also know as our "office" sometimes we use the teacher's office for are talks, which is really dirty/students randomly pop in, which makes me nervous cuz we talk about lesbian stuff/girls.
so yeah sam isn't gonna be seen by Gabriela until sunday, (shit), it's actually really akward not being around her at times and other times i'm glad because she would probably think i was being undank.
Christina wants me to burn her Blackalicious CDs, but I'm "fresh out" of blank cds. undank. I hope this weekend i do something stupid i can refer to all the time until people say "Gabriela I've heard that story 50 times" and then i respond with "oooh i have, i didn't realize i told you that"
I could use some more music.
I drew pupshaw from memory on a tile today in art, cuz it's supost to "original" art, but I WANT A PUPSHAW TILE GODDAMNIT!!!
i was gonna shot poll with joe but then my work was like hey train the new guys instead, but the rings newhst is ultra fine, i like i mean ultra hot, i wanna do dirty things to her in the walk in frigd.
but yeah iso i had to be like yo joe we cant hang out and then samm too. sucks. works sucks, never get a job splease.
sooo I've been ultra creepy lately i realize, hitting on friends (mostly sam) and being an asshole at random moments, since i have 3 Fs i've also being thinking of getting my GED, i was talking to comice last night at like 1 something in the morning for whatever reason and she just dropped out and i was like sdfhjsfhjasejksdfkjdfs lucky. Mr. Stuwartdasdjsakdfjsa told me today that i'm only in high school for social reasons, which is rather true, but then again i hate 99% of south.
Christina and i need to go shopping, when i get more cash.
Turbo Grrr 57: creepy bethany ? Gab2448: u can be rather creepy Turbo Grrr 57: may I ask how so? Gab2448: u just are... Gab2448: i don't know Turbo Grrr 57: well thats lame Gab2448: ok. Gab2448: i guess. Turbo Grrr 57: why are you so mean Gab2448: I'm not. Turbo Grrr 57: yes you are .. well sometimes you are a nice person but then you are mean and inmature Gab2448: I'm inmature???? Turbo Grrr 57: I can't spell .. but, you laugh at things that are personal to people histericaly when its not funny, and act out to get attention Gab2448: you roll around on the flore and act like a small child/girbel Turbo Grrr 57: you do the same Gab2448: no not really Turbo Grrr 57: yes Turbo Grrr 57: you do Gab2448: i don't laugh at people out of immaturity Turbo Grrr 57: ahha good one Gab2448: well ur ultra annoying and one can never even have a real conversation with you, in the past i tryed to get to know you but u just end up doing something totally childish or dumb Gab2448: plus ur ultra mean to joe, my best friend, i hate it when people hurt my friends feelings Turbo Grrr 57: I've been trying to be nicer .. I have reasons why I get the way I am to him and I'm working on it really hard Gab2448: reasons? Turbo Grrr 57: personality traits from bio parents and my past relationship where it was bad .. Gab2448: well geez bethany, then take it out on joe Turbo Grrr 57: its not like that Gab2448: well i think it's totally lame that your all up on joe's buissness Turbo Grrr 57: what do you mean his buissness? Gab2448: i don't Gab2448: know Gab2448: u guys are an undank couple Turbo Grrr 57: thats not ture Turbo Grrr 57: true* Gab2448: ok... Turbo Grrr 57: why do you think we are an undank couple Gab2448: whatever, it's not like i even care Gab2448: ur just gross Turbo Grrr 57: it does seem like you care so don't say that .. I'm not gross and please don't say that Gab2448: well i'm sure you have ur opoinion Turbo Grrr 57: yes I know Gab2448: so then what's the big deal bethany Turbo Grrr 57: that you have a problem with me Gab2448: i don't really get the point of you trying to pin me in the corner with an IM conversation Gab2448: are you trying to "fix" things? Turbo Grrr 57: I'm not trying to pin you in a corner and no I'm not trying to "fix" things .. I have just been wondering about things .. Gab2448: ok, for what purpuse? Turbo Grrr 57: because I wanted to know Gab2448: why? Gab2448: it doesn't really matter Turbo Grrr 57: it matters to me .. I rather know why someone has a problem with me Gab2448: it's not that i have a problem with you Gab2448: besides are you planning on seeking everyone out that "has a problem with you"? Turbo Grrr 57: no .. just you're such good friends with who I love Gab2448: ummm Gab2448: ok Gab2448: "love" Turbo Grrr 57: yes Turbo Grrr 57: I'm inlove with Joe Gab2448: surer Gab2448: *sure Turbo Grrr 57: do you even know love? Gab2448: yes Gab2448: i've been in love bethany Gab2448: no need to patranize me Turbo Grrr 57: do you know what its like to be loved back? Gab2448: yes Gab2448: i do Gab2448: i just don't think joe loves you or that u love him, love is ultra powerful Turbo Grrr 57: he does love me Gab2448: ok Gab2448: love doesn't make things right Turbo Grrr 57: what things Gab2448: relationships Gab2448: besides ur in highschool Gab2448: it's not very serious Turbo Grrr 57: oh but it is Gab2448: yeah Gab2448: it seems ultra serious between you and joe Gab2448: u nagging him all the time, all needy and such Turbo Grrr 57: how do I nag him Gab2448: ummm maybe calling him every 15 seconds Turbo Grrr 57: I don't Gab2448: yeah u do Gab2448: every time i'm with joe u call atleast 2 times Gab2448: and i never see him/get to spend time with him cuz u suffucate him with you Turbo Grrr 57: oh Gab2448: and u were leaving him comment after comment with dumb meaningless messages of "i love you..oh we're kissing ...oh joe...blah blah" Gab2448: it's just gross and annoying Gab2448: only someone with ultra low selfesteem would think that was hot. Turbo Grrr 57: I didn't think it was hot Gab2448: it's what honestly makes you creepy Gab2448: i didn't mean hot as in really hot, i meant like dank or cool Turbo Grrr 57: he just makes me so happy Gab2448: ummm Gab2448: i'm sure the clinglyness makes him ultra happy too Turbo Grrr 57: oh Gab2448: i honestly don't give this much thought, i have my own realtionships and such to think about, it's not like i get to spend tons of time with joe anymore since rugby, ihs and his needy girlfriend Turbo Grrr 57: I'm not needy Gab2448: ok. Gab2448: it's not a big deal bethany Gab2448: it's not that i even hate you Gab2448: you should really not even care, since the whole love thing with joe is going so great Gab2448: my thoughts on your realationship with joe shouldn't even effect you. Gab2448: don't you agree? Turbo Grrr 57: I geuss so .. Gab2448: come on bethany, are u gonna IM everyone who thinks your annoying now? no, cuz that would be a waste of time, there are plenty of people who don't like me, there is no need for me to bug them about it. Gab2448: just get over about it. Turbo Grrr 57: pshh Gab2448: pshh? Turbo Grrr 57 signed off at 9:08:16 PM.
so i was playing around with itunes and i deletead like most genres and albums....i'm a little OCD so I'm staying up real late to fix it, because it's driving me crazy, i've already spend like a hour and i'm done with genres, but i realize like i need to go all over it again cuz some genres don't fit like i want them too. I also realize too that i really like the rezillos....like a lot....so i'm lisenting to the 4 songs i have over again and over again...it got a little boring so i lisented to some binary star then back to rezillos, i'm still working on fixing albums catagory, a real bitch this is.
so i have Christina's Ipod right now and i looked through the artists and to my scared surprise i found my worst nightmare......TEGAN AND SARA
wtf? i hate those lesbians
p.s. i would totally have a 3 way with them aslong as they look as they do now and not all gross.
whatever...lent is going horrible......i've skipped like 6 times already and i totally gave that up suposibly and mayra grabbed my ass a whole bunch and i had a cuddle puddle.....ehhh whatever i'm still rocking the "no sexual activity and skipping" for lent
fuck you......yeah u know....it's cool......"retard hand".....well dank
this whole thing is completly pointless...i trained a new busser at work today. she wasn't hot at all, i hoped for adriana lima looking girl to train, ooh well maybe next time.
NOTE TO CHRISTINA: I think ur resume was put in the "FOH" or "front of house" folder and not "kitchen" or kitchen folder, thus that's why u had that inverview and not with kitchen staff and thus that's why u were not hired. if u give me ur resume then i'll put it in the correct folder for "kitchen/lucky noodle/Ring of fire"
Freshman year it was the use of pencils and candy....i fucked up on the candy but pencil use was easy...led and pencils suck dick.
last year i have no idea what i gave up.
This yeah I'm giving up sexualness,sexuality stuff and skipping classes....eh.....40 fucking days.......nothing sexual....no skipping......instead of skipping i'm now really tardy to certain classes so i'll pretty much walk anyone to their next class...no matter how far...aslong as i'm late to my class...minus library assistant job ...okk wtf??? I woked during lunch in the library and i do all these fucked up hard jobs like drilling books and re organizing ALL the magazines..and i somehow got a fucking b+....WTF!!! all the other library assistants sit at the desk and like do nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I officailly hate books even more....FUCK
Yesterday was cool, sam woke me up and i was like eeehhhhhh no! come to think about it...she woke me up today too. anyways....we watched this british movie and stuff....kinda wierd...I also had a review at work. I tired calling my dad a whole bunch to wish him a happy birthday but NO, the line was busy which was bad since last year i forgot all together. I went to the swollen members show and it was dank....Prevail stuck the mic in my face and it was tight and stuff. now i'm sleepy.
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